The Gift of Surrender: Releasing Attachment and Returning to Trust

Have you ever noticed how much suffering comes not from what’s happening — but from the way we want it to happen? A missed delivery, a delay, a conversation that didn’t go as planned. These moments pull at us because we’ve attached meaning, control, or identity to the outcome. But what if the invitation in those moments isn’t frustration… but surrender?

This week on RECLAIMED ( my podcast  ), I shared an impromptu solo episode (after my scheduled guest episode fell through) about something that’s been alive in my own heart lately — the gift of surrender and the peace that comes from releasing attachment.

Surrender Isn’t Weakness — It’s Trust

In my first-ever breathwork training, I sat in a dyad — a deep listening practice — and was asked, “Tell me what surrender is.”
My first reaction was defensive: It’s giving up. It’s failure. It’s weak.
But by the end of the exercise, my body softened, tears welled up, and I whispered,

“Surrender is trust.”

That moment shifted everything for me. Surrender isn’t about losing control; it’s about trusting that there is something larger — something intelligent and loving — holding it all together.

Suffering Comes From Attachment

We suffer not because of what happens, but because of our attachment to how we think things should happen.
The late Amazon delivery, the noisy construction next door — none of these things are universally “bad.” The only thing that makes them painful is our story about them.

When we grip tightly to how we believe life should unfold, we separate ourselves from the flow of divine intelligence, the oneness that connects us all.

The Practice of Letting Go

Surrender is a daily practice — one that takes awareness and self-compassion.
You can begin by noticing where you’re gripping tightly in life.

Try these journal prompts from the episode:

1. Where in your life are you gripping tightly, believing it has to be a certain way?
2. If you really believed that Source (or God, or the Universe) had your back completely — what would you release your grip on?
3. What if your current suffering isn’t punishment, but an invitation to return to trust?

Maybe.

The Story of the Chinese Farmer by Alan Watts

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”

The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”

The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.

— Alan Watts

May you find softness in what’s unfolding today.
May you trust that what’s delayed or disrupted is simply making room for something better.
And may you remember that surrender is not the end of control — it’s the beginning of peace.

With love,
Kyla